We all have one that got away. One that we still secretly obsess over. One we think we see everywhere even though we haven’t seen her in years. One that we were with when we were still young and unable to keep cool around because we were addicted to her feminine wiles like a cokehead needing a fix. Yes, we all have that one that got away, but now, finally, it is time to let her go.

Having this relationship, this “one” is essential in the process of becoming a man. In the Amazon, they cover the soon to be man in tree sap and have fire-ants eat away a layer of skin. In North American culture, we’re not so kind. We introduce a young male to a more mature, sexy, manipulative female and hope he survives. This is one of the trials that teaches us about the nature of women. It gives us insight into the female’s ability to use the poon to manipulate us, and unless you’re the Mozart of pussy, creating sexual symphonies at the age of 12, a man cannot tame the pussy until he’s been tamed by the pussy.

This relationship usually ends with a weakened, depleted man, but a man who will be more adept at dealing with women once he’s recovered, once he’s let go. But that process of letting go is tough. It can take a long time. How do we shorten it? Simple, cut that “One” out of your life completely. Don’t let her convince you to remain friends. Erase her phone number, her e-mail address, quit your job if she works with you, transfer schools if you go to school with her. Do everything and anything to make sure she no longer has anything to do with your life.

This might seem drastic, but it is healthy and necessary. Trust me. It’ll allow you to let go of her, and find someone new to go after with a whole new understanding of women.